Pages

19 May 2010

owls and gratefulness

The days here in Southern California are fickle; going back and forth from overcast and drizzle to bright blue skies and sunshine. As I write this, I feel quite and still, trying not to give in to some discomfort in my body. Every day is day to day and I am thankful that for a good while now I have felt okay and not have had to make an ER appearance. Monday was another endoscopy with a new GI and so far, what the results tell me are: evidence of Grade I relux esophagitis of the esophagus. The mucose apperared granular. Evidence of erosive gastritis of the antrum. The mucosa appreared granular and erythematous. Evidence of nonerosive gastritis of the antrum. The mucosa appeared granular and erythematous. The duodenum appeared normal. I meet with the GI again in early June to go over the biopsy results and take it from there. 

My intent in this post was not to start off with this subject, so I apologize. Life is a mixture of so many things and though I do want to share all the good in my life (like most people do) there are shadows that lurk here too. This issue with my health is definitely one of them and in my attempt to always be real with myself and others, I share it here. 

With that said, I move on to the subject of things that make me happy. I am deeply devoted to my daughter as most mothers are to their children. There are obvious reasons why she is dear to me but I am also grateful just to have her. I am not sure if we will ever have another child again, not that we don't want to. All these issues add up and it can be very discouraging to know that this might be the extent of our family. Those times when I feel the pang of wanting more children, I just look at the one I  have been so graciously given and I am thankful. It amazes me how much she wants to be with me and wants to be like me. I am doing my best to hold on to every moment since there very well may be the day when she won't want the similarities anymore. For now I am grateful when she wants our tuesday movies (and/or games and spa) sleepover nights (just her and I, no daddy!) and when I rummage through her backpack and find her sweet little hand drawings of momma's favorite: owls.



Recently, in an email. I found out that Fresh & Easy Neighborhood Markets is having a contest. It's design the best bag ever and the winner of the contest gets free groceries for a year! I thought it would be fun to enter in, even though I know there will be thousands of amazing entries most likely. Nat was thrilled too, until she found out she could not participate because she is not old enough. That knowledge came as a blow and she was devasted. While consoling here, my brain was already trying to come out with what I would submit but that didn't last long. To ease her pain of not being able to draw something herself, she quickly came up with an idea for me to draw to enter in. How could I say no? I told her I would do this in her honor, to show her creativity through my drawing. Of course, her idea including an owl, a tree and a reusable bag. Here is her sketch she did for me and after is the final resuly I am submitting to the contest. 







I finished this last night while having our movie night in her room. She approved and gave suggestions (the color of the owl for example). She also wanted to include a eight point star above the owl and I traced over it for her. I am proud to submit this in and though I prepared her that we might not win (because she is sure we are) and told her the fun is in that we did it together. These are the little things that hold me up. Her enthusiam and her wanting to be a part of everything that I am. I pray every day for her and that the ties that bind us together will never be severed or damaged. I know she is becoming her own person with every day and I want to encourage her in that way but there is nothing like her fondness to be like me and like all the things I like too. 



As I wipe tears of joy off my face, I also wanted to share a couple of new things. I am putting it here not only to share, but to keep myself accountable for discipline. I have had the idea of littlebighead opening up another shop on etsy for awhile. A place to extend my love for the natural world of herbs, tea and more folklore ideas. A place to also serve the 'business' that Nat wants to have with me to sell our own blends of teas and herbal products. Awhile ago we agreed on the name Kindly Owl Herbs and I used it for my second twitter, herb and flower. I've held off on this idea for awhile with various other things taking precedent but now it's returned, thanks to the encouragement of my friend Helena. I won't say too much (yet) but we are currently collaborating on a line for both our shops (kindly owl and hers at faunfare) that I am pretty excited about. I am thankful for her organization and drive because it is certainly helping me out :) So more about this project as it continues in growth and in execution. 

For now, I wish everyone a blessed day. I have domestic duties, artistic endeavors and a commission job all waiting for me...

6 comments:

Drucilla Pettibone said...

i am so interested in your herbs and teas! this is a subject that always intimidates me and i need to learn slowly and intuitively. i will be excited to see your new shop!

you are so lucky to have nat and it's wonderful how your treasure her and your time together. and, your collaborative bad design is adorable!

Anja021netteC_021Restrepo1 said...

辛苦了!祝你愈來愈好!.............................................

Violet Folklore said...

Oh Andrea. What a beautiful and heartfelt post.

It is so scary when our bodies are doing things that we don't understand, things that hurt us and harm our health. You are in my healing thoughts and prayers. Have you sought out an herbalist?

I really admire you as a mother and always get whimsical in a forward looking sort of way when I read about your relationship with Natalie. Lately I have been looking for clothes for her when i thrift, as soon as I find something amazing I will send it off. (What size is she?).

I love the drawing, and how Nat helped you with it. Of course she looks up to you! You are loving and talented and magical! That would be SO rad to win free groceries for a year.

I so know what you mean about another child. I am right there, and many of my friends are too. Lately I don't think that we will have another, and I also try to just focus on the gratitude I feel for Mycelia, and to hold on as much as I can onto these precious moments.

I love your new Etsy ideas, I can't wait to see what unfolds.

So much love to you girl!

Jackie Jeffries said...

Love love love!

昭彥 said...

xh美色網 免費a片下載嘟嘟情人色網影片 av,sex520免費影片 完全免費視訊聊天 777美女dvd辣妹視訊 免費視訊celia aio交友視訊愛情館 西門慶成人論壇 台中酒店S援交 sex888影片分享區高中生援交 一葉情貼影片區 1314視訊 情人線上aa片試看嘟嘟 情人視訊網a 妹妹視訊 情色網成人電影 xxxholic次元魔女 成人文學小弟弟貼影片區 亞亞成人館 ut成人聊天室 微風成人 go2av免費看影片 104黑色會美眉自慰 日本同志色教館情色文學成人小說 34c視訊辣妹美女sex888免費電影 情色視訊論壇 0204貼圖區免費色情電影 成人貼圖站 交友ggo 免費影片下載a gogo2sex日本 拓網交友視訊美女 080情人網伊利論壇 一本道 a片 東京熱免費成人影片觀賞 交友ggoo 夜未眠影片中心 34c情人視訊網 一夜情性 情色視訊 美女 亞洲禁果名模影城 日本av論壇 台南視訊34c美女館 bt論壇交友網成人情色視訊妹 免費情人視訊 性愛電影85cc 聊天室交友whei 38girl視訊美女 aa免費影片 獨秀視訊聊天室 av730美眉共國 辣妹哈啦聊天室

俊達 said...

Where theres a will theres a way. ............................................................