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31 March 2010

art and nature

natalie and the constellation tree

Towards the end of last year I had an idea for a project to do. It took some time because it's the first time I have sewn anything with a lot of detail and well, life gets busy too. I finally finished about a few month ago and barely uploaded the pictures today to share. This is my constellation tree. Well, not mine, but hers. She loves this little tree so much. Often times, in the middle of the night, she will crawl into our bed with the tree clutched in her hands.

constellation tree

I forgot to take a picture of the back of the tree but you can see the edges peeking out. The fabric was a piece of a soft white/floral top of Natalie's that didn't fit her anymore. I like the idea of using a fabric with a bit of history (for us, at least) and recycling in a different way as well.

natalie and the constellation tree

The little 'stars' are round pieces of blue floral fabric connected by little embroidered dots. This was a lot of fun to make and I will probably make another one since I have the felt cut out already.

a little bit of art and nature

So, with spring officially being here, I start to get the urge to rearrange things a bit. I love art and I love nature (no surprise, right?) so here, a union of the two. I bought the frame at Marshall's for two bucks. I tend to tear out and keep things from magazines, calenders and such. I remember when I first put this print in the frame and thought, perfect! The tiny curio cabinet was purchased from Little Byrd Vintage (she always finds the most amazing things). It holds my collected art buttons so well. Of course, there is a jar filled with natural tokens and to surround it all, little owls.

30 March 2010

floating, spring walks and sounds

floating in the night sky
Floating in the night sky

I forget how much I enjoy Spring until it's here. Walking alone in the neighborhood today really reminded me. Even though the sky was gray and mist forming to signal the rains coming soon, it was beautiful. All the colors of the flowers and trees. Simple things really, but in so many ways it's not. While walking today I was listening to my Ipod and the music wasn't new but still very refreshing.



seafaring..

seafaring

I finished my new piece called 'seafaring' and I am truly happy with it. Maybe one day when I start painting again I'll take previous illustrations and see how they transalate through paint and canvas. For now I know that I have more things I want to draw and create and something for my Natalie too.

She questioned me yesterday about my girls never smiling, how they always look sad. I told her that they are pensive, in deep thought. Now that I think about it though, I know through out my life there has always been a bit of sadness deep within. I know that I do love life, that I am thankful for everything good thing (and even the not so good) that has crossed my path. I do believe that everything is providencial, that everything happens for a reason. I do not feel sorry about the sadness though. I wouldn't be able to sympathize and empathize with others without it. I wouldn't be as sensitive as I am to myself, to my family, to friends, to others. It has taught me the toughest lessons in life. I would not be me without it. That's not to say their is no happiness though. So, I suppose, at least in my art, it's a glimpse of who I am. That their is a piece of me in everyone of the faces I draw. I suppose it's that way for most artists.

Life is a perpetual journey, often times to places unknown. It's vast and it's profound. It's possibilities are never ending. Maybe that's why I relate so well to the girl in the whale boat at sea. She is not alone though, she travels with a friend and has all the stars to look after her. For me, there is always a happy ending and it's that way with the characters I draw too.

25 March 2010

my daughter and the sea

sea friends
I just finished this first piece, sea friends earlier today. I couldn't wait to scan it and show you. I wanted to try something different with the mermaid and I really like the way she came out. She is more of a siren this way, I suppose. Natalie said it reminded her of Ursula. I told her that she is a lot nicer though :)

I have a few other works in mind so I should get to it. Since I shared artwork inspired by the sea in my previous post, I'll share some photos of my daughter and the sea, my own little mermaid..


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a spring for the sea

Spring is officially here and I don't know why this is, but every year at this time, my thoughts turn towards the sea. I have always been in love with the sea, its beauty, its depth, its mysteries. It seems there are so many stories to be told, to be taken, to discover. To say the least, the sea has inspired me in so many ways. It has brought to me various and delightful creatures (both real and mythical) to love and has guided my hand at times for drawings and scribbles.

It's magic has definitely worked on me in different ways as well. Years ago I created the livejournal group Octopi Party (I deleted the user name I was using so the group has a different moderator now) . I also watch from time to time their Seashores community, filled with oceanic wonders.

I am currently working on a few pieces that are sea themed and when they are done, I will share them here. For now, I'll give you a few other things like a new tumblr I have created, sea haunting (she was married to the sea). I am very happy that Mathyld and Marie-Josee of End of March (lovely artist, beautiful blogger and collector of pretty things) have joined me there to bring all the stories of the sea to you .

And now some sea inspirations in the form of etsy lovelies and a few posts from sea haunting:

Hippocampus Print

Ocean Adventure Print

ocean adventure by kathleen lolley

Best Friends Necklace













and a few things by me:

my little pirate owl...

my owl pirate, captain blackbeard

outside...

a photo box i made for a couple of natalie's photos

the stars are sinking

my first postcard ever

a little mermaid with octopus doll

sweet mermaid inspired by my daughter and the sea

underwater circus

underwater circus

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my first stuffed creature, livi

gazing at the stars...

gazing at the stars inspired by 'the miraculous journey of edward tulane"

whale tales

whale tales

the narwhal and the sea sprites

the narwhal and the sea sprites

'keeper of the seas'
keeper of the seas

24 March 2010

about helena and bun...

Mandrake Drawing

My dear friend Helena and I did a trade awhile back. One of the items I gave her was a mandrake drawing postcard. I just absolutely love what she did with it. She makes the most wonderful perfumed oils and some very pretty jewelry (she sent gold plated scottie terrier earrings but I never had a chance with them, Nat snatched them pretty quick). She just recently began a new blog called About a Bun, a story of a rabbit who lives with two cats in a cosy burrow. She is learning to reconnet with her animal nature and dig her way into a happier, healthier and more natural lifestyle.

She has a couple of tutorials there like how to make henna and how to wet felt balls. She is starting to create adorable little felted goods too. Here are a few of her lovely things (you can click on her photos to see other pictures on her flickr):


Enchanted Forest Home

Little Fish

Owls
(of course, when Nat saw these she quickly said 'I want those, I want those!' like I knew she would).

Chariot Perfume Oil

Thank you Helena, for your friendship, your sweetness and being the best Country Story neighbor ever ;) ♥

06 March 2010

the extremely long story of what is still unknown

As most of you who are my friends (and family) know, I was in the hospital this past week. Many of my friends on facebook and here, know the things I have been going through and some are still finding out. I thought it would be much easier to blog about it here, to explain in detail, the events of this week.

I'll begin with last week when I had my fourth painful episode that lead me to the ER again. This time to a new hospital since our insurance changed in January. They did the usual thing, hooked me up on an IV and gave me zophran for the nausea and a narcotic to ease the pain. The same tests had been taken to only reveal the same thing as before: nothing so we will conclude (again) that you have GERD. Yes, we already know. (GERD is short for Gastroesophageal reflux disease, a condition in which the stomach contents whether food or liquid, leaks backwards from the stomach into the esophagus, the tube from the mouth to the stomach. This action can irritate the esophagus, causing heartburn and other symptoms).

Tuesday was just like any other day until I felt 'the burn' that begins the 'episodes'. I started with my first line of defense (good ol' mylanta) and when it wasn't quenched I resorted to my emergency medicines (nitrostat, darvocet and nifedipine). I called Rick to let him know what was going on and left in the message that I was remaining calm and was just going to wait it through. He called me back and it was beginning to worsen. Eventually, it began to subside and I was more happier than anyone. I mean, I just had an attack no less than a week before, there was no way it could be happening again this quickly, this close to the last one.

I thought it was going to all go away, or at least I wanted to believe that. Natalie's first t-ball game was later that afternoon and there was no way I was going to miss it. I did. The pain came back in full force, worse than earlier and I knew I had no choice but to go to the ER again. I was overcome with nausea (I have vomited in previous attacks), the pain was beginning to spread to my arms, I became very dizzy and my vision was beginning to get spotty. All I said to Rick was 'hospital' and walked, determined not to fall, straight to the car. I felt even worse for Nat, having to see me that way always kills me.

This time at the ER there were no beds available. I had to wait with the pain for so long. By this time it was early evening and I had hardly eaten anything. I usually try to eat something every few hours because I can feel the acid building. In this case, it was coming and going and I was starving. They finally called me in only to sit me inside the ER and talk to me. They decided to give me a narcotic shot. My dad had went to buy some crackers so I could eat something. I took two bites and couldn't eat anymore. Suddenly, the pain escalated again and I closed my eyes, told my mom to tell the doctor that it was getting worse and to get me some water. My mom came back with water, raised my head so I could take a drink and all I remember was my body rejecting the water.

I woke up in a haze, surrounded by a rush of people, poking things in me, putting an air mask on me and I was wondering why I was laying down and how I had gotten there. It took me a few minutes and eavesdropping to realize that I had passed out. That was actually the real ticket into the ER and later, into the hospital and for that (as much as it terrified my parents who were with me) I was thankful for. It would be the first time that extra measures were being taken to find out what's going on instead of just sending me home to wait for it to happen again.

the emergency room.

I was completely out of it for awhile, constantly in between being awake and asleep with visions in my head of the last thing I remembered before passing out and how the pain made me feel. All I could think of was tiny dragons with their sharp, jagged skin and their fire breathing wrecking my insides. At least I was confident that I shouldn't worry about being in too much pain, I was at the hospital after all and medicines sure work fast when they are going through an IV.

The next few days basically consisted of talking with the Doctor who was overseeing me there, having a consultation with the GI specialist, taking a cat scan, a MRCP, and a EDG (endoscopy). The cat scan had showed that I had an enlarged common bile duct so they wanted to see it there was a stone lodged anywhere. Being as I don't have a gallbladder anymore, they had to rule out gallstones and I think the Doctor was a little surprised to hear that I hadn't had any of these troubles prior to the removal of the gallbladder. The MRCP didn't find any stones and so I had the endoscopy done (again).

the endoscopy.

The scope showed that I do have Gastritis (an inflammation (irritation and swelling) of the lining of the stomach) and a weak LES (the lower esophageal sphincter) which is all GERD related stuff. They also found that I have a hiatal hernia (a condition in which a portion of the stomach protrudes upward into the chest, through an opening in the diaphragm. The diaphragm is the sheet of muscle that separates the chest from the abdomen. It is used in breathing.) but nothing indicative to the symptoms of why I was in the ER in the first place.
Maybe that can explain why I feel nausea practically every single day, why food never settles comfortably in my stomach but after all the food restrictions and this, you would think I would be a twig by now but I am not. They have told me losing weight will factor in my GERD getting better but it's so hard when you feel like crap practically every day and you can't even bend down after you eat, or even hours after you eat. I am trying though, I'm walking and you should see the way I eat and what I eat but nothing yet. It's so frustrating when you are doing all that you can, taking a grip of medicine every day and taking a grip of medicine with you every where you go in case an episode decides to rear it's ugly head.

the waiting.

I was in the hospital for three days, waiting for results, waiting for answers. Rick had stayed home from work to help with Natalie and to help with me. He kept everyone updated via facebook as much as he could. He kept me encouraged with all the words and prayers from friends and family. He helped in badgering the Doctors with the right questions and suggestions we would have never thought of if it wasn't for a friend of ours from church who has gone through a similar ordeal with her very young daughter. It's far from over but according the hospital, they did all the tests they could do. Everything else we have to ask our primary doctor and GI specialist to help us get, like to find out if it could possibly be a mass cell disorder, or to request a 24 hour ph-probe that only hospitals like UCLA can do. Though we still do not know what the exact cause of all this is, it's nice to know that something was done to find out more of what's going on.

As I stated in my facebook status since coming home last night, thank you, thank you for all your prayers, thoughts and encouragement. my heart is overflowing with gratitude more than i can say. i'm very happy to be home now. we are still on a path to finding answers and healing but at least we have gone a few steps further instead of another stalemate...

I know it's not over but I must have faith that we will find answers and find healing. I know that He is close to the broken-hearted and to those who are suffering. I know that I can not rely on myself alone but in Him and in that I find my comfort.