owls and gratefulness

The days here in Southern California are fickle; going back and forth from overcast and drizzle to bright blue skies and sunshine. As I write this, I feel quite and still, trying not to give in to some discomfort in my body. Every day is day to day and I am thankful that for a good while now I have felt okay and not have had to make an ER appearance. Monday was another endoscopy with a new GI and so far, what the results tell me are: evidence of Grade I relux esophagitis of the esophagus. The mucose apperared granular. Evidence of erosive gastritis of the antrum. The mucosa appreared granular and erythematous. Evidence of nonerosive gastritis of the antrum. The mucosa appeared granular and erythematous. The duodenum appeared normal. I meet with the GI again in early June to go over the biopsy results and take it from there. 

My intent in this post was not to start off with this subject, so I apologize. Life is a mixture of so many things and though I do want to share all the good in my life (like most people do) there are shadows that lurk here too. This issue with my health is definitely one of them and in my attempt to always be real with myself and others, I share it here. 

With that said, I move on to the subject of things that make me happy. I am deeply devoted to my daughter as most mothers are to their children. There are obvious reasons why she is dear to me but I am also grateful just to have her. I am not sure if we will ever have another child again, not that we don't want to. All these issues add up and it can be very discouraging to know that this might be the extent of our family. Those times when I feel the pang of wanting more children, I just look at the one I  have been so graciously given and I am thankful. It amazes me how much she wants to be with me and wants to be like me. I am doing my best to hold on to every moment since there very well may be the day when she won't want the similarities anymore. For now I am grateful when she wants our tuesday movies (and/or games and spa) sleepover nights (just her and I, no daddy!) and when I rummage through her backpack and find her sweet little hand drawings of momma's favorite: owls.

Recently, in an email. I found out that Fresh & Easy Neighborhood Markets is having a contest. It's design the best bag ever and the winner of the contest gets free groceries for a year! I thought it would be fun to enter in, even though I know there will be thousands of amazing entries most likely. Nat was thrilled too, until she found out she could not participate because she is not old enough. That knowledge came as a blow and she was devasted. While consoling here, my brain was already trying to come out with what I would submit but that didn't last long. To ease her pain of not being able to draw something herself, she quickly came up with an idea for me to draw to enter in. How could I say no? I told her I would do this in her honor, to show her creativity through my drawing. Of course, her idea including an owl, a tree and a reusable bag. Here is her sketch she did for me and after is the final resuly I am submitting to the contest. 

I finished this last night while having our movie night in her room. She approved and gave suggestions (the color of the owl for example). She also wanted to include a eight point star above the owl and I traced over it for her. I am proud to submit this in and though I prepared her that we might not win (because she is sure we are) and told her the fun is in that we did it together. These are the little things that hold me up. Her enthusiam and her wanting to be a part of everything that I am. I pray every day for her and that the ties that bind us together will never be severed or damaged. I know she is becoming her own person with every day and I want to encourage her in that way but there is nothing like her fondness to be like me and like all the things I like too. 

As I wipe tears of joy off my face, I also wanted to share a couple of new things. I am putting it here not only to share, but to keep myself accountable for discipline. I have had the idea of littlebighead opening up another shop on etsy for awhile. A place to extend my love for the natural world of herbs, tea and more folklore ideas. A place to also serve the 'business' that Nat wants to have with me to sell our own blends of teas and herbal products. Awhile ago we agreed on the name Kindly Owl Herbs and I used it for my second twitter, herb and flower. I've held off on this idea for awhile with various other things taking precedent but now it's returned, thanks to the encouragement of my friend Helena. I won't say too much (yet) but we are currently collaborating on a line for both our shops (kindly owl and hers at faunfare) that I am pretty excited about. I am thankful for her organization and drive because it is certainly helping me out :) So more about this project as it continues in growth and in execution. 

For now, I wish everyone a blessed day. I have domestic duties, artistic endeavors and a commission job all waiting for me...

the village at owl...

the village at owl original illustration

thankful for...

• new endeavors and opportunities
• getting a bike for mother's day
• getting dirty and planting flower seeds
• the constant motivation within to keep walking
• my husband and his birthday
• collecting beautiful shells at the beach with my little girl
• His providence and knowing that He is watching over all things
• movie nights (or spa nights!) and sleepovers with my daughter
• renewed friendships
• being grateful for the sun and it's warmth (until it gets overbearingly hot here in socal!)

in the backyard...

The weather has been absolutely beautiful here in Southern California. I never really think of Spring being a favorite season of mine but I am always delighted when it comes. I really want to take advantage of this lovely season with being outdoors and soaking up the air and the sun. I also want to get myself out of the habit of just being out in the front yard and always neglecting the back one. My parent's have a huge backyard that includes a gated pool but it's mostly all concrete. They do have a small patch of green but everyone usually avoids it (unless the grass has be tamed) because it's the dog's area (I think you all know what I mean).

During the week of Earth day, Nat and I did some fun little crafts. One of the things we did was nest making. My friend Lisa always has amazing things she does with her two daughters. I saw her post on nest making and decided we had to do it. I had found some light weight wire in my old painting supplies so thought it would be perfect for nest making. I didn't make it look as awesome as the sphere that Paint Cut Paste had made but it was functional enough.



Since we don't have a tree in the front yard, the only place I could think of hanging it was out in the back. The neighbor's have a tree that hangs over on our side and it provides nice shade and a better 'outdoor' look. It's where Nat and I have our homemade recycled plastic bird feeder. It's a mess to look at but hopefully some birds will find some good stuff they can use to build their nests (and it's conveniently located right next to bird seeds). I am pretty happy that this little thing forced me to get out in the backyard. I should be out there more and utilize whatever I can there. I want it to be greener and happier and I know that Nat and I could make it more that way.



I also thought the backyard would be the perfect place to show my nice thrifted finds I got last week. I already showed you Nat's adorable Asian dress but I hadn't shared what I got. At the moment I am not that good at taking self portraits and I really don't want to ask anyone to take photos of me. I am not where I want to be yet and sometimes I just get a little too hard on myself. With that said, I just decided to use the old wooden bench that's besides the koi pond and the tree for a photo shoot of sorts.



I had a particularly fun day the day I got all these goodies. I hung out with an old friend of mine that I hadn't seen in quite some time. We had so much fun being loud and silly at the thrift store and it felt so good since it had been so long since i've had that with her. She joked about how I would say, 'I'm just going to put it in the cart. I'll edit later'. Our cart was so packed! Finally, we both narrowed it down to the things we coudn't bear to be with out (and with a 20% off coupon too, it was so worth it)!



I love dresses, I pretty much wear them every day. I have lost some weight due to all the food changes and walking I've been doing so it's nice to find some 'new' things to have. I did find one dress that I really liked and knew it would fit without trying it out. It's a blue and red dress with white (but it's not the American flag). It has such a pretty print we've all seen but it's cute and comfy. I wore it the day after with a little natural beige colored belt (also thrifted) with a dainty little sweater my friend picked out for me at the thrift store.



I wish I took a better photo of the sweater but it's the perfect spring/summer cover up. The print is so cool (it reminds me a bit of asian tattoos for some reason) and I already been complimented twice for it. One woman thought it looked like it was from Anthropolgie (and my heart smiled).



One thing I have to admit is that I am a sweater fiend. Some people have vices like shoes or handbags. Mine are sweaters. Even with living in Southern California, if there is barely enough coolness for me to wear a sweater, I will. The time I went to the store a couple of weeks before I had snatched a thick sweater that reminds me of cold and folksy places and a multi-brown poncho with buttons. The first sweater has none brashy looking colors of natural, brown, warm light gray with a rust red color. I call it my campfire sweater because it's one of those things I can see myself huddling in while out camping at night next to the fire. The poncho I was really thrilled about because I've been wanting a cool poncho for awhile but never would find the 'right' one. I especially like this one because it has buttons down the front that I haven't seen on a poncho.



While taking these pictures, my family's dog, Bijou came out to be a part of it. This dog has been around for a very very long time. She is a very good dog and I've been putting more effort into showing her affection and warmth so whenever her last days come, it would be good ones.



I think one of my ultimate finds that day was a type of sweater I have been wanting for a very long time. I would see these awesome thrifting mamas like Heather, Amber, Sasha, Milla (which by the way Milla, I don't know why your blog is not showing up in my bloglines feed but I'll get it there!) rocking their wares and wishing I had some sweaters like theirs too.



I finally found it and was so ecstatic! It was perfect  with it's gray tones mixed with borwn, mustard yellow and rusty red and fit perfectly too. It has the easy going belt and pockets which I love to have. Even more awesome was the price tag so once the coupon was applied, I got the sweater for only $2.40! So happy....



The other scores were a couple of tops great for the warming up weather. One, a cute little top that will probably end up being a summer staple and a button up shirt with a cute ruffled neck you can wear up or down. I also got a slouchy brown bag with front pockets (yeah!) that is perfect for all the things I need to tote around. I've used the bag right away and it pretty much seems to go with everything I wear right now.



So...even though I had already picked up two sweaters (the airy cover up and the $2.40 steal) there was one that I could not turn away. I've mentioned my love for pretty much all things Harry Potter. I especially love the clothes from the movies which I had to do a post about on Magpies and Apples (if you visit, I'm sorry that the font is all big and wonky. I'm working on that). I love all the colors, patterns, textures so when I saw this sweater, I instantly thought "Weasley!" and absolutely had to have it.



It has my favorite colors (again), browns, greens, and mustard with a zipper and a toggle front. Besides the way it feels perfectly while wearing it, it also has pockets and a hood. I told my friend it's my old scottish man sweater. When I showed Rick all my goods, his reply was 'more sweaters?' but when I showed him this one, I knew I had won him over. I told him he wishes he had a sweater like this and he said yeah. Even though I won this one I vowed that I would not go looking for more sweaters for me. I told him I would be tempted but from now on, only look in the men's sections for cool sweaters for him. Deal.



I'm very happy with my finds and had an awesome day that day, including the part when I got blown out of the store's door because the wind was so strong that day. My friend and I were busting up with so much laughter, it was awesome.



In other non-related subjects, I go see a new GI Specialist today and am praying that he will be sympathetic to my case and sincerely want to help. Here's to hoping and also to looking to Him no matter what, trusting that everything is in His hands and He will always be faithful even when we don't understand. ♥